The Athenians urged him to become initiated, and told him that in the other world those who have been initiated enjoy a special privilege. It would be ludicrous, quoth he, if Agesilaus and Epaminondas are to dwell in the mire, while certain folk of no account will live in the Isles of the Blest because they have been initiated. When mice crept on to the table he addressed them thus, See now even Diogenes keeps parasites. When Plato styled him a dog, Quite true, he said, for I come back again and again to those who have sold me. As he was leaving the public baths, somebody inquired if many men were bathing. He said, No. But to another who asked if there was a great crowd of bathers, he said, Yes. Plato had defined Man as an animal, biped and featherless, and was applauded.
The quote: Diogenes plucked a fowl and brought it into the lecture-room with the words, Here is Plato’s man. In consequence of which there was added to the definition, having broad nails.
To one who asked what was the proper time for lunch, he said, If a rich man, when you will; if a poor man, when you can. At Megara he saw the sheep protected by leather jackets, while the children went bare. It’s better, said he, to be a Megarian’s ram than his son. To one who had brandished a beam at him and then cried, Look out, he replied, What, are you intending to strike me again? He used to call the demagogues the lackeys of the people and the crowns awarded to them the efflorescence of fame. He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, I am looking for a man.
