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Aristotle on friendship taking time

c. 335–322 BCE, Athens (Lyceum). His own words, in the Nicomachean Ethics.

Where and when

c. 335–322 BCEAthens (Lyceum)

about 2,353 years ago

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Aristotle

, Athens (Lyceum)His own words, in the Nicomachean Ethics

In plain words, ours

They take time and closeness. As the saying goes, you can't know someone until you've eaten a lot of salt together.

Moreover they require time and intimacy: as the saying goes, you cannot get to know a man till you have consumed the proverbial amount of salt in his company;

Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics 8.3.8Translated by H. Rackham (1926)Read the full passage (Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics 8.3.8, opens scaife.perseus.org)

What was going on, our summary

In his Ethics, Aristotle is discussing friendship between good people, which he says is the fullest kind and rare, because such people are few. He adds that you cannot really be friends until each has shown the other he is worthy and won his trust.

Checked claim by claim against: the passage around the quote.

Related moments

In time order, with this one in its place. Each says why it is here.

  1. set in 416 BCEabout 88 years earlier Socrates on Love as the best helper Also about friendship and love
  2. by 399 BCEabout 71 years earlier Aspasia on honest matchmaking Also about friendship and love
  3. c. 348/347 BCEabout 19.5 years earlier Plato dies, aged about eighty Also in Athens
  4. 335/334 BCEabout 7 years earlier Aristotle opens his school at the Lyceum Also in Athens
  5. 336–323 BCEDuring it Diogenes meets Alexander Same years
  6. 334–323 BCEDuring it Alexander writes to Aristotle Same years
  7. c. 335–322 BCEThis momentAristotle on friendship taking time
  8. c. 335–322 BCEDuring it Aristotle on being angry the right way More from Aristotle
  9. c. 335–322 BCEDuring it Aristotle on becoming just by just acts More from Aristotle
  10. c. 335–322 BCEDuring it Aristotle on one swallow and happiness More from Aristotle
  11. 323 BCEabout 4.5 years later Alexander dies in Babylon Same years
  12. c. 324–321 BCEabout 5 years later Diogenes the Cynic dies in Corinth Same years
  13. by 323 BCEabout 5 years later Diogenes makes a tub his home Also in Athens

Just before and after

The text around the quote, word for word from the same translation.

Show the passageHide the passage

All affection is based on good or on pleasure, either absolute or relative to the person who feels it, and is prompted by similarity of some sort; but this friendship possesses all these attributes in the friends themselves, for they are alike, et cetera, in that way. Also the absolutely good is pleasant absolutely as well; but the absolutely good and pleasant are the chief objects of affection; therefore it is between good men that affection and friendship exist in their fullest and best form. Such friendships are of course rare, because such men are few.

The quote: Moreover they require time and intimacy: as the saying goes, you cannot get to know a man till you have consumed the proverbial amount of salt in his company;

and so you cannot admit him to friendship or really be friends, before each has shown the other that he is worthy of friendship and has won his confidence. People who enter into friendly relations quickly have the wish to be friends, but cannot really be friends without being worthy of friendship, and also knowing each other to be so; the wish to be friends is a quick growth, but friendship is not.

Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics 8.3.7–9Translated by H. Rackham (1926)Read the full passage (opens scaife.perseus.org)

When, and whose words

Date
c. 335–322 BCE. His works are hard to date; they are usually placed in his Lyceum years in Athens, 335–322 BCE.
Whose words
His own words, in the Nicomachean Ethics. Who was Aristotle?
How this post was checked
  • The plain-words line was read against the quote alone by a second, independent pass, which found it adds no claim the quote does not make (2026-10-03).
  • Each claim in the summary was checked by an independent pass against only the material it cites.
  • The quote itself is checked by the build: word for word, once, at the cited section of the stored translation.

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